In that moment I said farewell to all my greatness. I was perplexed. I was lost. I was doomed to die. But, although I had lost all hope for survival, I had not lost my resolve to live. Something in the wind told me to travel due east; I don't know if it was my natural ability to survive, my excellent tracking skills or the foot prints left in the muddy swamp, but whatever the origin of my idea, I followed my instinct and soon made it back to safety. As I willed my sopping, muddy, uncomfotable self to plod into the palace of the King of the Amazon, I looked up and saw a very disapointed look on his face-I think it was becasue I got his Persian rug dirty..he's a little obsessed, but don't tell him I said that. I have to admit, I was expecting him to exclaim that my gallantry was unmatched and that no other man had survived the Amazon with out a guide, but I guess I don't really need his approval. So, besides the ruin of my best orange shoes, and about a million mosquito bites I am having an enjoyable time here in the Amazon. As you can see, all's well that ends well. See you in a week, my love.
Yours truly,
The President of these United States of America
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