Thursday, December 23, 2010

clementine seeds

I think the clementine people enjoy tricking us, their loyal, unsuspecting customers. They look all innocent, packaging their bright orange spheres of delicious juicyness in little wood boxes with mesh tops or little holey bags, but no, they are out to get us! By labeling their fruits as "seedless" they are simply trying to brainwash us all into the belief that their clementines are without the nasty, crunchy seeds that are bound to ruin a perfectly scrumptious snack. They are not seedless! How can they, after all, be sure that their clementines are with out seeds?! There is no x-ray machine that they process their clementines through to make sure that they are perfectly with out seeds. There is no way of pinching or feeling them to make sure that there are no seeds contaminating the juicey goodness. There is NO way of knowing whether or not the clementines are in fact SEEDLESS!!!! How could they label their clementines "seedless" if they are not positive?! And yet, how could we, the loyal consumers of such refreshing fruit, be so naive to believe that the clementines are perfect and with out seed. How could we, the eaters of the scrumptious snack, the tasters of the orange spheres, the slurpers of such refreshing juice that so tastefully squirts from the orange wedges of splendor, how could we be so gullible, so ignorant to believe such claims?! The next time you excitedly reach for a clementine do not be surprised if, as you enjoy the savory flavor of a juicy wedge, you crunch on a nasty, seed. Together, we can ruin the clementine producers fun by expecting the inevitable and not believing their "seedless" claim.




(disclaimer: I don't actually know if anyone markets their clementines as seedless...it just sounded good...but I have fallen victim to the disappointment of biting into a clementine and finding it infested with a big ugly seed....)

2 comments:

  1. I love this. I'm going to go eat a clementine, because all those adjectives you used made me want one...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sara, you make me chuckle! Wonderful post!

    ReplyDelete